Silence
by Sandylee007
Summary: AU ONESHOT What will Naruto and Sasuke do when after a certain night there's only silence left between them? YAOI SasuNaru


A/N: Heh. I have absolutely no clue where this came from – this fic sort of crawled out on its own, and made it to this site before I could stop it. (grins sheepishly)

WARNINGS: Eh… Weeelll, yaoi, sad stuff, adult themes… Nothing never seen in my stories before. (grins slyly)

DISCLAIMER: Me, own? Are you serious? With the money on my bank-account I can barely afford my cat. (sobs)

Awkay, because I'm in a bit of a hurry (and afraid that I'll change my mind about posting this…), let's go! (gulps nervously) I really hope ya'll enjoy the ride!

* * *

_**Silence**_

* * *

Twenty-six-year-old Sasuke Uchiha's eyes held a distant look as he lay on his side of the huge double-bed, unseeing gaze fixed on the room's roof.

It was one of those long, seemingly endless and dark nights of autumn when it was deviously easy to get lost into dangerous mazes of thoughts. And yet again Sasuke found sleep avoiding him – he didn't remember the last time he slept properly. Perhaps he should get some help for that.

Suppressing a sigh Sasuke shifted so that he was looking at boyfriend's back, which was once again turned towards him. He couldn't tell if the gesture was that of indifference, anger or just a coincidence. He wasn't entirely sure when it'd happened, but at some point he'd stopped being able to understand Naruto. At some point they'd stopped talking altogether. They'd even stopped looking at each other properly. It was almost like they'd turned into total strangers after living together for over five years.

It was amusing, really, that at times like this Sasuke even missed their fights. But even more he missed the fire that used to blare between them – the fire that'd been there from the start.

* * *

/ _Sasuke and Naruto were twelve when they first met as Sasuke moved to Konoha. It certainly wasn't love at the first sight – rather a loud crash. For they met when Naruto ran straight at Sasuke in their school's hallway._

_"Shit!" the Uzumaki swore, rubbing his butt while getting up from the floor. Blue eyes examined Sasuke, who was also getting up. "'You okay?"_

_Sasuke cast a very sour look towards the blond. "Watch where you're going, idiot."_

_Naruto's face twisted to a extremely childish expression. "Hey, you watch what you're calling me, bastard!"_

_Sasuke arched an eyebrow. "Is that supposed to be intimidating, dead last?"_

_That was what it took. With a scream of anger and frustration Naruto jumped on Sasuke, starting the biggest fight the school had seen in years. It took three teachers to rip them apart._

_They both earned a month's worth of detention, which they were ordered to endure together. By the end of the third week they were finally ready to admit that perhaps there was something other than hate between them. At least a tiny bit, anyway._ /

* * *

Sasuke closed his eyes and leaned his head just a little bit closer to Naruto. His eyes stung, but he chose to ignore it for the time being.

Their fights had been common and ridiculously loud, mostly from Naruto's part. But this silence was something much worse, almost unbearable. With someone as loud as Naruto Sasuke didn't know how to handle all these quiet moments.

He drifted out of those sullen thoughts when Naruto shifted all of a sudden. Sasuke didn't know what to feel upon realizing that yet again the blond couldn't find sleep, either. He hoped dearly that this didn't mean Naruto would start taking even more medication to help him rest. The blond already took so many pills for every night that it scared him.

After a moment there was a scarcely audible, hoarse whisper. "Goodnight, Sasuke."

This was another new ritual for them. Just before finally falling asleep Naruto would whisper those same words and reach out a hand, trying to grasp on something Sasuke couldn't name. And Sasuke would take the hand, working his hardest to offer whatever it was his boyfriend looked for.

In about half an hour Naruto had fallen into a fitfull sleep, leaving Sasuke alone with his thoughts. Leaving Sasuke miss what their nights had been like once upon a time.

* * *

/ _Sasuke's whole body shuddered when Naruto trailed kisses down his naked form, finding every single one of his tender spots. In the end he lost control and grabbed the other man, so hard that his nails almost dug into the skin of the blond's back._

_Naruto chuckled and paused his actions to give him a look. "Someone's needy today."_

_His eyes narrowed while he shivered once more with lust and unreleased pressure. "Shut up and keep going", he barked out huskily._

_Keep going they did, for almost three hours._

_Afterwards, when thinking he was asleep, Naruto leaned to his ear and whispered a nearly soundless "I love you"._ /

* * *

Over the past year Sasuke hadn't been able to sleep properly, and perhaps that's why he often had what he called 'episodes'. During those dizarre moments, which sometimes lasted even hours, he zoned out to realize that time had passed without him staying on track.

One of those must've struck him again, because the next time he drifted back to reality it was already morning. He felt a sharp twinge of disappointment when noticing that Naruto had already left the bed without waking him up. He couldn't be surprised, though, with how many mornings had already began this way.

He took a deep breath, then pushed his surprisingly heavy body into a sitting position. In an instant his gaze locked to the bags and boxes piled up to the room's corner. A cold breeze meandered through him.

Three months ago – after a particular painful night of silence and tension – Naruto apparently had enough and packed up most of his belongings. Since then Sasuke had heard the Uzumaki convincing Sakura and his other friends that eventually he'd be strong enough to leave. That yes, as soon as possible he'd find a new apartment somewhere away from their town Konoha. Those phone calls, which Sasuke most likely wasn't supposed to hear, hurt him more than anything.

Before they'd been lovers. Now they weren't even a proper couple, and at times Sasuke felt like he'd been holding Naruto hostage. But he was too damn weak and selfish to let the blond go.

Feeling tired and lousy Sasuke finally allowed himself to sigh out loud before standing up and heading towards the bathroom, from which noises could be heard. Entering soundlessly he found Naruto preparing for a shower deep in thought. He took that opportunity to examine the blond's naked form with his gaze.

It was ages from the last time he'd seen Naruto naked, and he was startled by all the changes his gaze met. The blond had lost so much weight that he could easily count the man's ribs, and the Uzumaki's skin was so pale that it was almost transparent. All the poorly slept nights had left a greyish color to the blond's face and huge, dark bags under the man's bloodshot eyes. It looked like Naruto was withering.

The sight made Sasuke want to wince, brought that stinging sensation back into his eyes.

'What the hell are you doing to yourself?' he wanted to scream at the top of his voice. 'Stop this, Naruto! You're stronger than this, damnit!' But no words willed their way out of his mout, so he settled with bringing a hand to the skin under which a heart was beating determinedly. It was sappy and stupid, but somehow feeling the beat and all that life always calmed him down, even now. It gave him at least some feeble hope that perhaps things would work out eventually.

Naruto shuddered at the touch and glanced towards where his hand rested on the blond's chest. For a moment the man's hand twitched, as though with desire to be placed on top of his, but eventually Naruto's muscles relaxed and the blond shook his head, dismissing whatever thought had just passed him by.

It hurt Sasuke much more than it should've when Naruto turned around, away from him, and walked silently into the shower, leaving his hand reaching out for thin air. His eyes narrowing with frustration, Sasuke also turned and walked out of the bathroom.

And once again silence hung heavily in the apartment as shower drowned the sounds of Naruto's sobs, almost enough so to keep Sasuke from hearing them.

Slumping listlessly to the bed, feeling exhausted and so helpless that it made him want to scream, Sasuke let his thoughts wander to past so he didn't have to think about the present.

* * *

/ _When they were eighteen Sasuke and Naruto both accepted a summerjob in the childrend's ward in Konoha's hospital, Sasuke mostly out of the blond's half-threats. They couldn't do a lot, but at least they were able to bring a hint of joy into the tiny patients' lives. And Naruto clearly enjoyed it with all his heart._

_One ridiculously early morning Sasuke returned from his coffee break to find a quite endearing sight from the ward's playroom. Naruto was sitting in the middle of the floor with five children around him. One of them – a about five-years-old girl – had climbed into Naruto's lap, and a wild-looking boy at the age of approximately six was balancing on the blond's shoulders. "So…", Naruto started, rubbing his hands together. "Which fairytale do you want to hear?"_

_Naruto had clearly not guessed what kind of a havoc the innocent question would arouse. In a matter of moments the children were all babbling loudly and excitedly, like they'd never been sick in their lives._

_It wasn't until then Naruto noticed him. The blond blinked at his expression. "What?"_

_Sasuke had hard time hiding a smile, and he had a feeling some of it showed. He shook his head. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."_

_Just that he'd never loved Naruto as much as he did at that moment. But of course he would've never admitted such out loud._

_Naruto grinned at him before letting the kids take all his attention once more. In a few moments Sasuke joined them._ /

* * *

Sasuke figured that he'd zoned out again, because the next time he became aware of his environment he heard noises from the aparment's living room. It sounded like they gotten a surprise visitor.

"Hey." Naruto sounded surprised. "What are you doing here?"

It took a moment before Sasuke recognized the next voice as Gaara's, Naruto's friend's. "I thought I should come and check up on you. It's been a while since I last heard of you – I missed you."

And then Sasuke heard something that broke a tiny piece of him. For a couple of fleeting seconds he could've sworn Naruto and Gaara kissed.

Sasuke felt boiling inside as he listened, filling with such jealousy and rage he'd never felt before. Was that guy for real? What the hell was going on? He knew things weren't okay between Naruto and him, but…!

He couldn't identify the sound Naruto emitted before speaking. "Gaara, no." It sounded like the blond was choking back tears. "You know I'm not ready, not yet."

"Then when will you be?" Gaara sounded impatient and frustrated, but also sad. The tone gave Sasuke a sinking feeling that this wasn't his and Naruto's first conversation over this topic. There was a brief pause that made Sasuke wonder what happened in the living room. "Naruto, you can't keep doing this to yourself. You…"

"I know." Naruto's voice was tense, strained. "I know I can't. And one day I won't."

"But not today?" Gaara's tone hinted that the man had heard this answer several times before. Too many times.

"Yeah." Naruto sighed heavily, and Sasuke could've sworn he heard something close to a sob. "Look, I'm sorry but… You should go, okay? This… is a shitty morning – I'm not much of a company."

"'K." Judging by the sounds Gaara got up slowly. "Call me if you change your mind, okay?"

"I will." Naruto managed to sound almost normal, Sasuke could picture the grin the blond created. "See you later."

A sound of their door closing told that Gaara left. It wasn't until then Sasuke managed to persuade his muscles to co-operation. He felt a sharp twinge inside when entering the living room and taking in the sight there.

Naruto had slumped down to the floor, back leaning heavily against the door and face buried to both hands. The blond's whole thin body shook with loud, wrenching sobs.

Sasuke had never been good at dealing with situations like this, no matter how desperately he would've wanted to do something, anything. And so he stood reluctantly, leaving several steps between them. He'd never felt as frustrated in his entire life.

He had no idea how long Naruto's episode lasted until the Uzumaki did something that hadn't happened in days, perhaps even longer. The blond spoke, not looking at him but still aiming the words directly at him. "Sasuke, I… I can't keep going on like this, okay?" The man was still clearly close to tears, but at least they didn't spill anymore. The blond took a hungry, shuddering breath. "This has to stop, one way or another. For both our sakes."

Sasuke frowned, feeling unbearably cold. "What are you going to do?"

Naruto didn't talk. Instead the Uzumaki forced himself up, although it visibly required all the man's strength. And then the man walked right out of the apartment's door without granting him another glance.

For a moment Sasuke stared at the closed door with a frown, something he couldn't quite name swirling inside his stomach. In the end he made his decision. Moving rapidly he opened the door and followed Naruto, although the blond paid no mind to his presence.

Things had been like this for a year already, since a certain night. A full year was enough. It was time to try and fix things.

* * *

/ _Exactly one year earlier Sasuke was getting extremely irritated and bored out of his mind while pacing around their living room, __waiting for Naruto._

_In the end it'd taken – as he discovered when taking a look at his watch – one hour, eighteen minutes and fifty seconds before Naruto finally emerged from the bathroom._

_He arched a far from impressed eyebrow. "You take longer than any girl. Itachi's gonna have your head for us being late from his birthday party."_

_Naruto rolled eyes, then kissed him. "Oh, pull that stick out of your ass and live a little. It's only half an hour – what's the big deal?" Seeing his expression the blond smirked. "Did you know that you're absolutely adorable when you sulk?"_

_He groaned, hoping that the heat on his cheeks didn't mean he was blushing. "Shut up."_

_He blinked once when Naruto swore loudly, appearing panicked. "Shit! I forgot to write Itachi's card." The man looked at him with a sheepish, apologetic expression. "You go, 'k? I'll catch up with you later."_

_He nodded, then – in the spur of the moment – gave Naruto a rather demanding kiss that made the blond grin. "When we get home I'll make you pay for this, got that?"_

_Naruto's grin turned into a sly one. "I'm looking forward to that."_

_Sasuke emerged the block of flats, and managed to walk for about five minutes through already dark streets until he heard a spine-chilling sound. Feeling cold all over Sasuke turned slowly to meet five dark figures surrounding him._

_Somewhere amidst it all he was almost sure he heard Naruto's voice, calling out his name._

_That was where his memories stopped. The next thing he knew he was home, sitting on the couch next to Naruto who was clearly in a shock. The blond was deathly pale and shaking furiously._

_He frowned and reached out a hand, but didn't manage to touch his boyfriend. "Naruto?" A horrifyingly strong bout of wrath washed over him. His fists balled as he growled. "What the hell did those assholes do to you?"_

_Naruto didn't respond, marking the beginning of their long silence._

_And nothing was the same._ /

* * *

After following Naruto through half of Konoha Sasuke frowned when realizing that they'd ended up to the cemetery.

Naruto had always said he hated that place from the bottom of his heart. So what was this?

Something close to a warning nagging inside he kept following as Naruto visibly braced himself and finally managed to muster the will for going in through the huge, uncomfortably loud gates. The journey seemed to go on forever before Naruto suddenly stopped before a certain grave.

In a couple of seconds Naruto slumped down, his knees most likely giving way. And just as fast the tears came once more.

Feeling a warning inside, Sasuke lifted his gaze slowly to the tombstone. The words engraved to it made the bottom drop from his world.

_Sasuke Uchiha_

_A beloved lover, brother and friend_

_Until we meet again_

Sasuke's eyes widened, and suddenly he felt colder than ever before. Absolutely everything stilled as the flashes he'd thought were a product of sleepless nights began to make sense.

Lay there on the pavement, he'd honestly thought the moisture spilling to his face had been rain. But now that he thought about it... Naruto had been crying so hard that night, squeezing his hand so hard bones nearly broke.

/ "Stay awake, okay? Just keep your eyes open. Stay with me and everything gonna be okay. Don't you dare leave me, you bastard!" /

He remembered being tired, so very tired… And in the end he lost the battle.

/ _"…'rry."_ /

Naruto's touch… He hadn't been able to feel it anymore. He remembered a scream, such that still broke his heart.

/ _"SASUKE!" _/

So many feelings crashed through Sasuke that he couldn't even name them all. He felt sick to his stomach, and would've definitely thrown up if he'd been able to. He wanted to scream, wanted to cry, curse, anything.

But as it was the only thing he could still do was shift his gaze to Naruto, who was still knelt by his grave. The man's blue eyes were hazy and moist, clearly seeing something he couldn't. Perhaps that haunted gaze was fixed on what Sasuke had only just remembered.

Feeling dangerously weak and lightheaded he made his way to Naruto. "I'm still here", he half-whispered. His hand brushed the blond's cheek. "I'm right here, idiot. So stop crying already."

Naruto shuddered at his touch, and the man's eyes widened as though he'd known, sensed somehow. Most likely moving with a will of its own the Uzumaki's hand moved towards him – but before he had the chance to decide what to do a cell phone came to life.

Naruto cleared his throat and blinked furiously before accepting the phone call. "Hey, Iruka." There was a beat's pause. "Yeah, I tried to call you. Listen…" The blond cleared his throat. "Can I come over and just… be there, with you guys, for today? 'Cause…" The Uzumaki trailed off, then listened and nodded to himself. "Thanks. I'll be there in ten." With that the man hung up.

Still dazed and numb, Sasuke watched as Naruto brushed the tombstone with a gentle hand, clearly fighting tears. The man's voice was choked as he spoke. "I love you. And I miss you", the Uzumaki whispered in a shuddering tone and blinked furiously. "I miss you so fucking much."

A sharp jolt crossed Sasuke's body, and it took his all not to touch Naruto again. "I miss you, too."

He wanted to hold Naruto, to have a one more fucking chance to say all those things he'd been so damn afraid of. Wanted to do so much that it suffocated him. But he was only allowed to watch as Naruto got up with severe difficulty and hurried – almost ran – away without casting a single glance backwards.

He couldn't even say 'goodbye'. Neither of them could.

* * *

Fate has the funny habit of twisting things.

Naruto was just a little bit too worked up when leaving the cemetery that day. The car turning to the small street was driving just a little bit too fast.

A second before he flew through the air and hit the pavement with a sickening sound Naruto could've sworn he heard Sasuke scream.

It was amazing how many people rushed over to him in a short period of time.

"Shit, he's bleeding too much!"

"Hey, stay awake!"

"Somebody call an ambulance!"

There were a lot of people around Naruto, so many hands on him trying to save him. But he felt only one touch.

The hand that took his was warm and firm, comforting. And as he looked up with half-lidded, barely seeing eyes he saw Sasuke's face.

There was a smile on his face as he was pronounced dead half an hour later.

* * *

/ _"Say, Sasuke… What do you think happens after death?"_

_"Hn. Why are you thinking about such nonsense?"_

_"I'm serious, bastard! Promise me that whichever goes first waits for the other, so we don't have to go there alone."_

_"I couldn't leave a idiot like you behind, could I? And who knows. Maybe we'll meet again in some other universe."_

_"Now who's talking nonsense?"_

_"Shut up and eat your ramen, Naruto." _/

* * *

A shrill cry echoed in the small room as Naruto Uzumaki was born in a ninja-village called Konoha.

* * *

**_Owari._**

* * *

A/N: So… (gulps loudly) Was that any good at all? Or should I just delete this as a huge mistake while I still can?

**PLEASE**, leave a review! It'd mean the world to me to hear from you. Pwease? (gives puppy's eyes)

GAH, I've gotta get going. (pouts) Thank you so much for reading!

Take care!


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